Sunday, January 08, 2006
*A Different Feeling*02060813
almost a week i broke his heart
i broke my heartjust because i can't commit myself for this relationship.
even though he showed me endless care and concern
letting me lead my own life
but i felt it was different
there was no communication no outing no patience for each other
or maybe it was me not giving him any chances to do so
So how can i even request for more when i dun put in my 100%
it was harder than i expected
i always tell ppl around me when they break up "the next one will be better"
i told myself that, but when it comes to bed time when all my projects are done my friends are not around, i begin to miss him miss the relationship.
keep asking myself if i have made the right choice.
always coming up with reasons to make myself feel better.
often failed.guess i really need time.1 year 7 months 1 day is not easy to let go!
i admit that i m alittle jealous when i see him n his ger fren picture (thou he claim she wants to take with him n i think they look compactable)
it was so different.i choose to let go but not completely.
he got me a new midium size bb tazzie n a bb tazzie pencil case
he said he wanted to win me back.
but i cooly say "aiyah dun waste time la"
i really hope i meant it
coz if i dun
i will be stabbing him again
haha
with him.i always tell my friends i can't do this i can't do that.i can't go here i can't go there
without him.i dun feel like doing or going anyhere he once forbid me to do or go.
i begin to not understand myself.
the life i wan seems to be different
crying behind some stupid laughter.
shut myself under the blanket
how optimistic!
well life isn't that bad after all.
at least i still got frens around me.
mentor encouraging me
projects filling me up
my oncoming sec one and the campcraft team to train well
more challenging planning to be done
exams coming up
attachment on the way
a new start!
a new begining!
i dun ask y ppl become frens (from a relationship)
so i dun like the idea of letting anyone noe y i n him became frens
cause i feel there is no point as its between two and not anyone can understand
if i feel u will understand i will tell you!
not dao.but i think is jus pointless
p.s Thank Pei Chee n Ms Loy for the concern when i was so lost!
